Bus Stop Enemy

I have a bus stop enemy. I don’t know who this guy is, I’ve never spoken with him, but we are definitely enemies.  It’s like in college during lecture at the start of the semester. It didn’t take you long to pinpoint your classroom enemy.  You’ve never interacted with them, had no idea who they were, but you just knew that you didn’t like them and they were destined to be your nemesis for the semester.

Every morning I walk over to the bus stop and like a normal person I get in line behind anyone who is already waiting. Then my bus stop enemy (let’s call him BSE for short) gets there, walks right past everyone else to the front of the line and stands right under the bus stop sign. WTF.

This is me

Who does he think he is? Why does BSE think that he is so important that he doesn’t have to follow the rules of a line? I didn’t hear anyone offering him cuts. And anyway, we all know that at the bus stop it’s no butts, no cuts, no coconuts.  Why does he believe he’s more entitled to a seat than anyone else? Did he fail bus stop etiquette class?  He must be a complete idiot because bus stop etiquette class is super easy, I got an A++. I cannot figure out why BSE completely ignores the already formed line and believes he should be the first one to enter the bus. He’s not disabled, he’s not elderly, and, as far as I can tell, he’s not a pregnant woman.

I understand that the busses in Chicago blow. There have been many a time that the bus arrives already crammed to capacity and only one more person can jam in and I have to wait for another to come. It sucks. But if a bus comes, and only one person can squeeze on, it should be the person who got to the stop first, not freakin BSE.

There are other things about BSE that make him the worst ever as well. Many times he has coffee with him. Which is cool, coffee is a necessity for me too in the morning. What’s not cool is that he is a mouth-breather. With coffee breath. And the bus is crowded and I don’t like strangers breathing on me as it is, let alone with nasty stink breath. Oh, and BSE wears a ring. Annoying, right? It’s not a wedding ring because it’s an ugly wide silver ring that he wears on his middle finger. It has a black tribal pattern going around it. It’s terrible.

He also may or may not be stalking me. As much as I try to leave for work at the same time every morning, it just doesn’t happen. But no matter if I’m early or running late, BSE gets on the same bus as me almost every morning. Clearly he is hiding out, waiting to see me approach every morning, and then walks over and does his douche move to the front of the line. So on that note, if I disappear please let the police know that the primary suspect is male, probably in his late twenties, has complete disregard for lines, has horrible breath and a dumb ring on his middle finger. They should be able to track me down in no time.