The Origin of Branchie

A few months ago, bar hopping with Roommate on a Thursday night, we never thought we’d meet our new apartment mascot. But, on that magical night, it happened. And it was glorious.

Folks, let me introduce you to Branchie:



Isn't she great?



As we were stumbling walking gracefully down Wrightwood from a bar on Halsted headed over to Clark Street, there she was. The branch we had been waiting for all our lives. I was the first to spot her and quickly picked her up so that no one else could get to her first. When Roommate gave me a quizzical look, I announced “We could use this later.” And with that, she was our 3^rd musketeer.

I carried her down the street and we arrived at the next bar. As we entered, Roommate put her arm around Branchie and reassured the entire bar “Don’t worry, she forgot her ID, but she’s with us.” We took our seats at the bar. The staff did not seem pleased that we had brought a very large tree branch into the bar. It didn’t take long for a staff member to escort Branchie out of the bar. A good friend would have gone after her, but mine and Roommate’s priority at the time was beer.

A few sips into our drinks, this guy approaches and says “Let me buy you girls shots for bringing a whole fucking tree into a bar.” We accepted and were very pleased with ourselves for being so incredibly awesome. Things were fun until 2 seconds after our shots the guy says “So do you girls do coke?” Inappropriate and weird. We hurriedly finished our drinks and exited the bar. We were ecstatic to see Branchie was waiting for us in an alley right outside the bar.

No surprise, we swung into Weiner Circle for 2 orders of cheese fries and then made the short journey home with our new BFF. Branchie stayed in our living room for a few days …but then I got worried a bunch of ants or spiders or something would start crawling out of her so I moved her to the back porch. She’s been a fantastic 3^rd roommate ever since.